Book review – The crossover

Author – Sunil Sandeep

Illustrations – Betty Bileterka

Genre - Poetry

Having grown up on a heavy doze of Hindi and English poetry, and being a poetess myself, I was filled with excitement when I was offered to review a collection of poems. To write stories spanning across hundreds of pages may be an art, but a poet does much more than that. Some things said and some unsaid, challenging the reader to bridge the gap…I always find poetry stimulating by building an instant connection with the reader. Seems the author felt the same way, for he mentions “I never thought I would write…and write in verse. But I have, and it has been most fulfilling.”

The cover

The cover is simple however; the words “open heart verses” grabbed my attention immediately. Poetry comes unplanned and straight from the heart.

The Book

The Crossover is the author’s maiden attempt at bringing out the voice of his heart out through poems. The book showcases the author’s take on life, beginning with dreams which drive us for the daily grind; as the mental metamorphosis occurs, we come face to face with reality and understand the actual stuff life is made of. It is time then to take stock of the situation and chalk our own path to understanding self and attaining inner peace.

The author has offered a delicious assortment of various moods that envelop our mind and every poem is a refreshing change from the previous one.

A welcome change from the over doze of fiction and self help that weeds our bookshelves, The crossover makes you pause and think before you move on to the next one…perhaps inspire to write one yourself!

Why I liked the book

The poems are simple to read and understand and you can almost hear the voice of the heart.

Beautiful illustrations next to every poem make you pause after every poem, for they explain the hidden meaning few might not have noticed.

What could have been better

Well, nothing really. With a promising debut like this, I am sure there are many more beautiful compilations to come!

So read the poems, look at the pic, reflect upon life and enjoy the book!

This review is done for BecomeShakespeare.com

Shaadi ke side effects

I know the title would make all the married folks smile, for the one who takes the plunge knows it all. But, for all you married and single readers who are hoping to get some masala on the nuances of marriage, you are in for some disappointment. For this post is not about the side effects of marriage, it is about the side effects of attending a big fat Indian wedding!

Recently, we had to attend a relative’s wedding. But what seemed like an occasion to unwind and catch up with juicy family gossip turned out to be a comedy of errors. So, without wasting any more time, let me just take you through the countdown to the wedding.

2 days before

Just like the bride’s beauty regime begins days before the D day, the guests too take pains to look their photogenic best. Mom in law ordered me to arrange for her hair color to ensure not even one white hair escapes untouched! I requested my salon lady for a late evening appointment for her “special” glow facial. What usually is a relaxing activity for me became a substitute for lullaby since an exhausted me, after a day full of meetings virtually got the facial etc done in a sleep mode. Poor lady had to wake me up frequently to save the facial cream from smudging on the salon chair.

The Clothes

This is the focal point of the preparations, for any slip here invites horrible photographs and secret discussions among the ladies groups. While I prefer to plan the look in advance, mom in law always comes up with a lazy “I will pick up anything that day” answer. However, in this department, I am the boss, so I insist upon selecting the attire, jewelry, accessories etc and even give strict directions not to make any last minute changes on her own. Seemed my foresightedness worked for we realized we had added few more pounds since the last wedding we attended and an emergency visit to the tailor was called for.

The leave

No matter how much work life balance we working women maintain, we are always expected to take leaves whenever there is something to do with relatives. Be it a relative dropping in for stay over, or a function at a distant relative, my father in law always tells me “the organization won’t stop working if you take a day’s leave!” I somehow manage with a “I will come early” promise, and by now, everyone has realized my leaving early from work means leaving half an hour early! Still for them, something is better than nothing!

The D Day

It was the day of the wedding. While the relatives had summoned me to be a part of some rituals to be performed by married women of the family that day, my super supportive mom in law made up for my absence with a perfect excuse. Praying for not getting any last minute meeting invite, I rushed for home.

The moment I stepped in, I was welcomed by shining faces with smiles. Everyone but me, had spent the afternoon getting ready at their leisurely pace. Now only I was left. Mom in law asked me to get ready in 10 min. “Getting ready in 10min for attending a wedding?” My eyeballs almost popped out of the sockets!  “Ya, you can just get the basic thing and remaining can be done on the way. After all the venue is far and there will be traffic jam” she said. I realized arguing would have wasted even those 10 min so I smiled and took my time in getting ready (well not just for myself, coz in between I also helped MIL with her saree, makeup etc. which ensured my extra time went unnoticed).

The Oh so pleasant lo..ng drive!

We just sat inside the car when Mr. Hubby realized we had forgotten the most important thing…the invitation card! For it had the address of the venue! MIL and I grumbled as we had to repeat the process of unocking and locking the house just to get the invitation card! “Couldn’t the men have kept it in their pocket while they watched the IPL repeat telecast?” we grumbled.

The wedding was in at the fag end of an NCR location, and as I struggled with Google navigator to help Mr. Hubby with the route, father in law kept cribbing we would be late and miss the function (though I kept on convincing him that going by the time Baraats (wedding processions) arrive these days, we could watch all prime time shows, leave for the venue and still be early!)

8:30pm

Since FIL was concerned about missing the action, we landed up at the wedding venue directly instead of the Baraat assembly point (we were representing the groom’s side). However, the scheme of things there took me by total surprise. At 8:30pm, the venue wore a deserted look, with some strange faces roaming around. These were people from the Bride’s side and were warm enough to welcome the early bird Baraatis!

Since we were the only people at the venue from the groom’s side the stewards flocked to our table like honeybees on flowers and after 2 rounds I, embarrassed with the extra attention, asked them to focus on serving the bride’s relatives as well!

The 2 main questions

Now there were 2 big questions for the evening –

     1.   When would the Baraat arrive? (For then only we would be able to hand over the gift and leave)

     2.   How to pass time till the Baraat arrive?

9:30pm

One hour had passed since we came. There was no sign of Baraat. Father in law got excited everytime he heard the sound of Dhols and trumpets, only to find that the Baraat belonged to another venue! Everytime he called up the father of the groom, he got the same “we are reaching in 15 minutes” reply. “Their 15 minutes never seem to get over” mom in law revolted, for sitting idle in an open lawn on a sultry summer evening wearing heavy saree, makeup and jewelry  was testing our patience levels.

10:30pm

Thankfully, the venue was decently filled with people now, majority belonging to the bride’s family, for the 15 minutes were not yet over. There was no sign of Baraat. Many from the groom’s side like us had dropped in the venue too and I empathized with them as they inquired about the whereabouts of the Baraat. Most women took the delay as a chance to take rounds of the venue and flaunt their sarees, makeup and jewelry. The teenager girls sensing competition, took to the dance floor and their almost perfect imitation of popular Bollywood moves ensured a lot of attention from the male fraternity!

Mom in law and I killed time by discussing the sarees and jewelry of the women who passed by but that too didn’t help us for long. I was beginning to feel sleepy and tired by now and felt like hitting the sac, for I had to go to work the next day. So mom in law suggested we have dinner and hopefully by the time we finished, the Baraat would have arrived. Sounded like a good idea.

11:30pm

We had relished the dinner and the desserts but the Baraat was still nowhere to be seen. “Have they demanded dowry and decided to call it quits?” I winked and asked mom in law! “Shhh…don’t talk inauspicious things” came the reply. I was almost asleep with head down on the table when mom in law noticed the groom’s sister in law. As if she spotted an angel, mom in law rushed to her with the gift in hand. From a distance I could see her share a few pleasantries, hand over the gift and come back. “Lets go, we are done”, mom in law said.

“But, w..where the hell (actually I didn’t say hell, though meant it!) is the baraat we have been waiting for?” I asked.

“She says it’s on the way, the people are still dancing” mom in law explained.

Still dancing? I was wondering.  Didn’t they know they had invited guests over who had been waiting for more than 3 hours? In a country where guests are considered Gods, here were some people who preferred to keep the Gods waiting while they danced and made merry. Didn’t for once they think of the bride who would have been waiting in heavy clothes, makeup and jewelry since evening, practicing the prefect smile to pose for the shutterbugs? It has been a trend at many weddings for the groom’s side to keep the junta waiting and arrive late for this makes them feel like celebs. But let me tell you that just by wearing flashy clothes and sitting on a horse, one doesn’t become a celeb….one becomes a celeb by his deeds and traits. What is the use of printing false timings on invitation cards then? People should at least respect others’ time.

We left without any further wait for the Junglee Baraat (as I named them)..:)

I felt a sudden impulse to slip a note for the groom’s father

“Dear Uncle,

Had we known the 15 minutes would never end, we would have struck a deal like they do with Pizza delivery boys…15 minutes or free…well, since the food is anyway free, the deal would be that if the Baraat doesn’t arrive in 15 minutes, they would be welcomed by a deserted venue!”

Being the sanskaari bahu I am, I obviously didn’t leave any such note.

The Hangover

Yes, the half wedding we attended also gave me a return gift. I was down with food poisoning the next day and red rashes all over my face (wished we would have couriered the wedding gift instead!)

So, for all of you who though only being married has side effects, even attending weddings has its own share of side effects!

L'histoire de mon blog

Aujourd'hui, je vous presente mon blog. Je voulais creér un petit blog pour exprimer mon opinion. Mais, j'etais timide. Alors, je lisais le blog de Monsieur Amitabh Bachchan souvent et il m'a inspiré.

Après mon mariage, ma vie à changé…

Mon mari m'a encouragé pour creer le blog. Ma belle mere donnait un bon nom - Shaivi ka funda.

ça fait trois ans que j'ecris le blog. Je m'exprime mieux grace à mon blog. J'ecris beaucoup de choses - les histoires, mes opinions de nouvel films, mes opinions de restaurants a Delhi, les travelogues, mes opinions de nouvelles romans etc. J'ai gagné beaucoup de prix pour mon blog.

J'ai decouvré mon passion - écrire gracé à mon blog. Un jour, je veux écrire un roman aussi.

Je vous invite à mon blog. N'oubliez pas le nom - Shaivikafunda.blogspot.com.

Merci beaucoup!!

Book review - Awaken the leader in you

Authors – Mitesh & Indu Khatri

Publisher – Jaico Books

Pages – 188

Price – Rs 250

Sneak preview from the cover

Awaken the leader in you discusses the traits & skills needed to be a successful leader. This book destroys the myth that leaders are only people at the top management levels. Offering a completely new perspective on leadership, Mitesh & Indu categorize leaders as extraordinary people if they have an entrepreneur mindset and ordinary people if they have an employee mindset. The authors firmly believe that all are born with infinite potential and witness every ordinary person, there lies an extraordinary leader. The tenact of this book is to awaken that leader in you. Replete with inspiring leadership stories, exercises and simple-to-apply strategies, this is a step-by-step guide for the spiritual individual to develop the entrepreneur mindset and become a leader in his professional as well as personal life.

My View 

There was a time when I was heavily into self help books. Then slowly, I began discovering the same wisdom with a different garnish in most books. So, when I received this book, I was having my own set of doubts. However, the publisher too knew this about most readers, for one look at the cover was enough to awaken my curiosity - The foot on the burning coal.

I flipped few pages and my curiosity got deeper – a corporate trainer who fire walks! Not just himself but along with his learners during the training sessions! Now this was different and I had to read the book to understand the author’s views.

In the 11 chapters, Mitesh and Indu have made a decent attempt at sharing the tips for effective leadership. To prevent the book from becoming all preachy and boring, they have smartly incorporated various examples from corporate life, which I found very interesting. To kill the preconceived notions in the reader’s mind, the author actually begins the book by discussing why one should read the book when there are various others on the same topic donning shelved of bookstores. And from there, the reader starts to feel as if he is actually participating in a live training session!

I especially liked the way they have shared how the difference between leaders and others lies between the “employee” and the “entrepreneur” mindset. It made me stop and ponder, for the principle holds true in all aspects of life. Also, the chapter on emotional intelligence has been beautifully done, with simple tips on how to manage our emotional patterns, for the person who has achieved a control on emotions has cleared a big hurdle in the path to professional success. The concept of trust bank accounts introduced by the author exposes reader to the advantage of building trust with people since the level of trust we create within our people is directly proportional to the effectiveness of our leadership effectiveness.   

Why I liked the book 

• The language is simple and the tone non preachy (unlike most self helps)
• There is a bouquet of examples from corporate life which holds the reader’s interest
• After every chapter, there is a recap section, just in case, one wants to highlight future main points for future reference.
• Just like live training sessions, there are various exercises for the reader to take. The author has given a personalized touch by asking readers to mail their filled forms to take the exercise forward.
• There are various references to Youtube videos on leadership which one can see to have a deeper understanding of the topic.

What could have been better

At some pages, it felt like I was reading an endorsement of the training programs, not a book, and in order to understand the tips for effective leadership, one would have to undergo a session by the authors.

I would still recommend this as a very useful book for people who can’t afford the expensive leadership trainings, yet want to make that important transition from an employee to a leader. I have heard about his unique method of using fire walk activity in his sessions and am all eager to attend a session myself! Follow the exercises mentioned in the book and you will definitely feel more enlightened in your journey to effective leadership, once you would have flipped the last page.  

About the authors – Mitesh Khatri is an international leadership trainer, firewalk expert and motivational speaker. He is the founder of Guiding Light Consultants along with his wife, Indu Khatri, who is also the principle content designer for all their corporate training programs and coaching sessions. You can read get more insights at their website www.miteshkhatri.com

A big thanks to BecomeShakespeare.com for sending me the book for review.

My New Love / Mon nouvel amour

Life is a constant journey of learning. We learn, we evolve and we learn some more...

It has been few months since Mr. Hubby and I have been taking French lessons. What started as a mere hobby has now transformed into a passion. Also, we have discovered a rather new and romantic way of communication. It’s a pleasure to the tongue when words in French roll out of our mouths and friends and relatives regard in appreciation, often amused by our newly acquired skill.

The journey so far has been far from easy – taking time out of our busy schedules, sacrificing our precious weekend getaways, going back to the classroom, answering a swarm of questions from friends and relatives (why do u people have this endless craving to learn something new?), and most importantly, facing the exams…we have braved it all…and all I can say, so far it has been a soul enriching experience.

Well, more about the journey later. For today, I want to extend my French affair to my blog. I discovered a new passion when I began blogging and today, my knowledge of French has given new wings to my blog-experience.

 It’s time to spread the wings and take a flight…and connect with friends of a new language and various cultures…

I introduce the new tab on my blog –

Je t’aime

Je t’aime means I love you. When I closed my eyes and thought about my love for French, these are the only words my heart shouted; for its not just the language I have fallen in love with….various hues of the culture have also charmed me. So, on this tab, I intend to write in French, about French and for my friends who share my passion for French language….

Happy Reading…J

Let’s save the one who nurtures…

Let us respect the one who cares

Who fulfils our needs

And happiness she shares

She has the supreme power to nurture

Lets thank the lovely mother nature…

A good person is one who stays connected to his roots; who remembers the bonds of love; and who values the relationships that helped him in the journey called life. One of the earliest bonds we have in life is with nature. For its nature that becomes our first school. As we grow up, we take the highway to success and often ignore the bond with nature. But nature takes it all with a smile, our love and even our mistakes, for nature is the mother, and a mother is always showering love and care on her children.

It was mom who strengthened my bond with nature. My earliest school was my garden, where I got my first lessons on colors and names. Nursery admission interviews were around the corner. Ma would take me to the garden, ask me to name the vegetables, fruits etc and tell the color. We would look at the lovely squirrels and sparrows on the guava tree and I would name every bird I saw. The leaves taught me green, the marigold-yellow, the tomatoes –red, the roses – pink. Although I cleared the admission process with flying colors, our morning rendezvous in the garden continued where ma and I sat every morning, listening to the chirping of birds and soaking in the beauty of nature.

Coping up with the fast lane life, we somehow drift apart from nature. It is only when we see someone caring for nature that we remember our own bond.

Recently, I was on a visit to Corbett with Mr. Hubby when I saw a WWF project signboard near the entrance. On asking the locals, I was told the local women partner with WWF for a project wherein they make natural manure from earthworms. We all had read in textbooks about compost and natural manures and conveniently forgotten it to the comfort of chemicals. But these villagers had kept their bond with nature intact. When I expressed my desire to see how the manure was made, the ladies were excited to see the madam from Delhi taking interest in their project. Like a chief guest, they welcomed me into their huts and showed me the pits covered with hay where natural manure was made from earthworms. “Memsaab, these earthworms are like our children, we care for them and Mother Nature cares for us…” their words inspired me so much that I pleaded to adopt some of the earthworms to take back home and bought their amazing natural manure. The earthworms are our family members in the garden where mummy feeds them vegetable waste and they give us natural manure.

When a child befriends the wrong person, the mother gets worried in concern. A big concern for nature today is mankind’s friendship with plastics. Plastics look presentable and convenient, but they pose threat to Mother Nature. Being non biodegradable, it is next to impossible to dispose them completely without harming the environment. While people in metropolitans still ask vegetable waallas to pack the veggies in polythene bags, the stand taken by people of Himachal Pradesh impressed me a lot. On a recent visit to Himachal, I found out that plastic bags are banned there and people use paper or cloth bags to carry their daily needs. “When they can, why cant we?” I wondered and once home, Mr. Hubby and I thought how we could get rid of the plastic in our daily lives.

We began by going for the good old jute bag to carry groceries. Might sound old fashioned to many, but we know we are saving our environment and the effort is worth it.

Instead of using plastic scrubbers, we have started using homemade scrubber made of coconut fibre (coir) to clean the dishes.

We all like to keep our houses clean and perfect and seldom bother about what happens outside, However, if we pause and think of our environment as our home, and take small steps to prevent the exploitation, nature too will appreciate and cooperate, for a mother showers her love and blessing for children who love and care.

This post is written for Nature's friend contest by Indiblogger and Kissan  Kissan is more than just its range of products. It's the trust of millions of Indian mothers when it comes to making their kids eat & grow up happily. Because all mothers know that Kissan products are filled with nothing but natural goodness as they are made from 100% real fruits and tomatoes. And to top it all, kids and adults equally swear by the taste of Kissan products

Book review - Soldier & Spice

Sneak preview from the cover

For Pia, regular life is a thing of the past. She is now an Army wife. In the mysterious and grand world of Army wives, Pia learns that walking in high heels is okay as long as you don’t trip on combat boots. She learns that “civil” is also a noun, that JCO and GOC are very different, that snacks are shown and WTF is better explained as Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. Yes, it really is a new world!

Let this quirky, hilarious story of the first year of Pia’s Army wife life show you that the spice to a soldier’s life is most definitely his better, very strong, extremely elegant, never-cussing, witty, warm and passionate half, his Army wife.

My view

What would be your reaction if you receive a parcel from Kargil? I came home one evening to find a somewhat concerned mom in law looking at a parcel on dining table. “Are you expecting a gift from some friend of yours in Army? I got this courier from Kargil and I didn’t open it wondering…” her unusual reaction somewhat concerned me, for I have no friends in the Army. The mystery was soon resolved when the wrapping gave way to a pretty book inside. “Soldier and Spice..hmmm”, the title seemed promising and my mind began to come up with all sorts of preconceived notions I have about Fauji life.

No matter how much glamorous the Army life looks from a distance, one only has to get closer to understand the difficulties an Army wife faces. For Pia too, the Army life is like a fantasy world of parties, flaunting designer dresses, making new friends and having someone to help you with housework, until she marries Arjun, a Captain in Indian Army. She sees a trailer of the movie, when she asks her husband the time on their drive to Pathankot “We’ll be there by eighteen hundred hours”, he says, much to her surprise.  

Once at the cantt it seems her dream life has come true. Dinners, ladies meet, welfare activities…she is excited about it all. But as the story unwraps, she figures out that Army life is not a bed of roses. Discipline, commitment, courage, leadership, perfection are some of the words we all prefer to confine to books. But her maiden year as the Army wife teaches Pia the true sense of these words, and transforms a carefree civilian into a responsible Army memsaab!

Pia is not alone in this journey – various characters in the story help her in her metamorphosis in some way or the other. There is Arjun’s sahayak Ganga Bhaiyya, who transforms from the “one Pia is jealous of” to “the one who comes of help when she needs it the most”; Naina, Pia’s friend and confidante who gives her the first lessons on Do’s and Don’t’s; Mrs James, who keeps transforming from a friend to foe and back to a friend; Mrs Sengupta and Mrs Singh who are never short of their gossip supply; Mrs Nair, the queen bee who ends up having her way; Mrs Bhandari the second in command; a certain Mrs Nose hair and many others.

Then there are these various rules of the game Pia learns throughout the book, many of which left me laughing out loud. I mean, snacks are served, not “shown?” Hehe…and so thinks Pia!

Every page has this drawing of Army boots, perhaps a sign that to fit in Army boots, it requires a lot of hard work.

Although her debut, Adti has got the flavor of the book right, for once you start the book, the story keeps you hooked on till you haven’t flipped the next page. I write this usually for thrillers, but sometimes simple stories weaved to perfection make an instant bond with readers.

Strongly recommended from me whether you are well versed with the Army culture or not. For if you are not, the book will open you to a whole new world; and if you are, then the book will definitely remind you of some of your own experiences and smile.

About the author

Aditi Mathur Kumar is an ex advertising girl, one upon a time blogger, a fanatical Army wife and a real life social person. With this debut, she has taken up writing for good. May we get many more interesting reads from her!